It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Randomize
