How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
