I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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