now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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