Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize