I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
even my farts smell like vagina
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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