Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
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