quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
