he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Damn victory sex feels great
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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