Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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