It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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