do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
