grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
