So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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