My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Dick very happy bro
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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