R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
