Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
