Operation Purity has been aborted
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
