Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
