He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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