so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
