just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
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