If i come over, it means nothing
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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