She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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