The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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