At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!