You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
No I am not eating basil off your cock
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.