I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
