How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
