the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
