Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
