New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Are my feet made of real feet?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
