Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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