Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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