just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
