she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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