it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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