So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
