Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
