i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
