he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
