i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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