Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize