I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
