just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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