In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
