i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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