Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
