so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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