Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
