We need to rekindle our bromance
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
