And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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