How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
