she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
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