so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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