I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
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