What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
