Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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